The Evil Step-Mother

Lots of movies present the step-mother as being evil.  She comes in and ruins the life of the child and is pretty much a big meanie.

I have never really known any step-parents very well.  My mom is actually one but we hadn't really ever discussed it and I saw my half-brother as my brother.  All I knew was from these movies.  So, when Jon and I got married I didn't have many pre-conceived ideas or thoughts about step-parenting.  It was a lot like babysitting or teaching at first- playing with and hanging out with someone else's kid.  But, like all of life- reality is hard and when it sets in, it can be rough.  Jon started working late and working overtime.  I was meant to watch Ellie all day and all night at times on our weeks.  Let me stop here and tell you how well-behaved Ellie is.  She always follows the rules and a simple talk or look can correct any unwanted attitude or sassiness if it happens at all.  She is a good listener and very helpful with chores.  She is so good with Jack she could be a special ed teacher right now.  She knows the ABA training as well as I do ;) So, she is super easy to take care of.
But, when a child isn't with their mom or dad for awhile, the fun of the 'babysitter' wears off.  Bedtimes were hard and weekends were hard when Jon worked.  I totally understood not wanting to spend all of your time with this third person (me) but it was our reality and there were a few times I cried at night wondering how this all was going to work and what else I could do.

My first step was prayer.  My second step was taking it easy on myself.  My third step was to give it time and just focus on each day.

It was difficult trying to find my place as 'Meg' who was not her mom, because she has a great one already, but also not just a random babysitter.  I feel like I am very lucky because..

1. Ellie is Ellie and is the most loving person I know.  She has a heart of GOLD and is so accepting and so kind.
2. Jon is supportive and listened to me and encouraged the relationship between Ellie and I.
3.  Ellie's mother is and always has been kind to me and supportive as well.  We communicate and have a friendship that sets a wonderful example to Ellie.

The step-mother in Cinderella was certainly evil, but maybe if she had read a self-help book or sought counseling before marrying Cinderella's dad it would have been different?  :)  JK, but say a prayer for all of those who are out there blending their families.  It is a big statistic now for families to be blended and extremely difficult to stay away from the bad end of those statistics.  It takes a lot of love, hard work, communication, commitment, and some Jesus.

I hope this helps a step-mom out there somewhere.  Step-mom is not a bad word and I am very proud to be one :) I know everyone doesn't have it as good as I do.  It takes TIME.  Ellie and I have a relationship now but it took time to get there.  Here is a GREAT couple who are venturing out to share their story and help others make it through to tell theirs.