Hope

photo by: Ellie Glidden

Don't mind my lovely bed head

This is my new shirt from Counting On Hope.  I wear it today for Camden and Jack.  Both boys were in the same class, two years ago.  Camden's mommy is admirable and I am so thankful to have someone else in the same boat, who is so faith-driven and brave.  Her pledge to remain hopeful is contagious and celebratory.

Through the good days and the hard days, let me remain hopeful as she does.

Buy a shirt like I did, they are so comfy and promote awareness!

Lately

Latest Happenings

These two love each other so much.  Jack adores Ellie and she is pretty much the only child he interacts with.  So thankful for her :)

Jack using his words to request something!  We have worked all summer on saying "I want ______" instead of just "______".  He is doing so well and making small but significant steps.  It's fun being his mom and seeing this growth- every inch is a celebration.  

Ellie shared with him.  She never fights with him and has the MOST allowing, gentle, kind spirit.  I am always in awe of her actions.  

We took a trip to the candy store downtown.  It was so much fun and delicious!

Jelly Beans!

Skittles, skittles, skittles!

Jack did this and I thought nothing of it but Jon's dad (Pappy) noticed that it looked like the arrangement of a keyboard….Jack types on word documents occasionally on my laptop….he has the greatest memory and is so observant of details that I don't tend to notice.

Jack not only spells sight words, but has been spelling the most random words lately.  He loves newts and spelled it while taking a bath the other day!

Jack loves wrestling and rough housing.  Add a trampoline and water to that?  Good times.

Ain't nobody got time for pants.

An impromptu water fight with the hose.  Water + Trampoline = Fun for both kids.  Ellie was giggling like crazy.  I love her belly laugh.

2 years together.  Blended families + Jack being diagnosed with autism + changing careers = a difficult road, but we have walked together every step of the way and are still going :)

Love bugs

Wearing our Sunday best!

Jack is so cuddly at times, but he is getting too big to hold :(  He's going to pass me up soon.  

Just as it is

I have compared myself to other women- their fashion, body, parenting skills, decorating and DIY skills, income, marriage, house, car, etc.  This is difficult not to do at times.  I have to remind myself that...

 

With shows like Fixer Upper where Joanna has the best taste ever and cute but expensive home furnishings and Nordstrom is all the rave on everyone's blogs.... it is difficult not to make comparisons.  Having a great wardrobe and a killer mantel isn't bad, but when you find yourself envious of others, you are entering dangerous territory.

 

I have found myself in periods of grief due to being the parent of a child with special needs or because of blended family difficulties.  I would look at pictures on facebook or instagram and become the 'must be nice' guy from the Kidd Kraddick bit on their radio show.  I compared my marriage or parenting skills to others based solely on pictures.  I have learned that everyone does not have life all figured out.  What is seen on facebook and instagram is edited or given a 'glaze' or 'effect.'  On the other end of that phone or computer are imperfect people living imperfect lives just like me.  It is important to remember that everyone has their own struggles and hardships.

 

As a woman I want to encourage other women and live life beside them rather than compare my life to them.  When you are busy comparing your life to others you cease to enjoy your own.  

When I was a senior in college, the pastor of my church died.  Even just typing those words brings tears to my eyes.  It was the hardest thing I'd ever gone through.  At the time I'd only known death as something far away and a visitor to the old or chronically ill.  This was very sudden and unexpected.  As my friends and I mourned our loss, we found comfort (and still do) in his last words.  I hope you do as well and remember to live in the present and enjoy your own life just as it is.

Live. And Live Well.
BREATHE. Breath in and Breathe deeply. Be PRESENT. Do not be past. Do not be future. Be now.
On a crystal-clear, breezy, 70-degree day, roll down the windows and FEEL the wind against your skin. Feel the warmth of the sun.
If you run, then allow those first few breaths on a cool autumn day to FREEZE your lungs and do not just be alarmed, be ALIVE.
Get knee-deep in a novel and LOSE track of time.
If you bike, pedal HARD … and if you crash, then crash well.
Feel the SATISFACTION of a job well-done- a paper well-written, a project thoroughly completed, a play well-performed.
If you must wipe the snot from your three-year-old’s nose, don’t be disgusted if the Kleenex doesn’t catch it all … because soon he’ll be wiping his own.
If you’ve recently experienced loss, then GRIEVE. And Grieve well.
A the table with friends and family, LAUGH. If you’re eating and laughing at the same time, then might as well laugh until you puke. And if you eat, then SMELL. The aromas are not impediments to your day. Steak on the grill, coffee beans freshly ground, cookies in the oven. And TASTE. Taste every ounce of flavor. Taste every ounce of friendship. Taste every ounce of Life. Because it is mostly definitely a gift.

Confessions

Some of my deepest, darkest secrets revealed!  SSShhhh...

1.  I love Celine Dion.  I mean l-o-v-e.  I know every word to every song.  One time when we drove back from a visit to Waco, I drove while Jon slept.  He woke up to me whisper belting 'Because You Loved Me.'  He was in awe of my performance ability, my synchronization, and my general beauty.

This is as close as I have gotten to Celine.  When I lived in Las Vegas I visited the gift shop in Caesar's.  

2.  Sometimes when I think before I talk (it's rare, but it happens) or when someone else is talking, I type out the words in my head- as in I have a keyboard in my head.  This is either characteristic of a neurotic weirdo or a hidden genius.  I'm going to go with hidden genius. 

3.  I cried during a commercial at the movie theater last week.  Jon and I went to see a movie and this commercial was on before the previews.  It was the Google commercial.  Makes me so emotional to see that girl and boy excited about getting into college.  We laughed at the fact that I was crying during a commercial before the previews at the movie theater.  I'm a sensitive soul, what are you gonna do.

Fear

I conquered a fear today. 


After I gave birth to my beautiful baby boy I had no feeling in both of my legs.  I have seen 7 doctors- chiropractor, neurologists, neurosurgeon, and family doctors.  The only diagnosis I have received is 'idiopathic neuropathy.'  I can't do physical therapy without a diagnosis and the neurosurgeon told me nerves don't grow back after two years...?  It's been a long four years.  No one knew what was happening or how it felt.  I could not hold Jack while moving- this is why I sit down if offered to hold your baby.  I couldn't walk without holding on to something and definitely couldn't run.  I had some falls here or there that caused bruising on my body and ego.  I've never been too athletic- I played soccer and ran around here or there, but not being able to choose not to run is incredibly upsetting.  I can't jump on the trampoline or chase the kids or skip down the street.  (not sure who does that, but I can't)  Because of the lack of feeling in my legs (which came back to some degree after intense chiropractic care within 6 months of having Jack) and poor balance I have been pretty inactive in the past four years.  I lost all muscle mass and have had some energy issues and am pretty weak/frail.




Well today my friends.  I hiked Erwin Park- 3 miles.


I used trekking poles and took a few breaks here or there.  It is scary to climb up and down hills and narrow paths, when you do not have 100% feeling in your legs.  I am so proud of myself.  I am thankful for this husband of mine who on our first date inquired about my walking (I can't walk in a straight line) and has been the kindest, most patient person ever since.  He encouraged me, challenged me, listened to me, every step of the 3 mile hike.  I found myself crying at parts.  I found myself angry at parts.  He helped me get past feeling sorry for myself, accepting what I have to work with, and encouraged me to push past it.  He told me to go easy on myself and to love this new me. 


It's taken 4 years, but I felt like I finally accepted this disability that I have.  I physically and mentally conquered something I did not know I could do. 

Love yourself, exactly how you are.  You will be amazed at what you are capable of.  

Love is not a Fairy Tale

Love is not a fairy tale.  It is so much more.

I have learned the secret of love in these past two years.  I never knew the secret and was far from knowing it when I entered our marriage.  When life gets crazy and the hard days come (which they do), that romantic comedy- kiss in the rain- kind of love, does not get you through them.  It's a deeper love...an unconditional, committed beyond compare, loyal to no ends, in your innermost parts, love that gets you through the storms and the bumps in the road big or small.

I made a vow and a commitment to love Jon until the day I die and will do this despite our stubbornness, pride, complete opposite personalities and interests, and annoying habits.  No argument is too big or too many.  Marriage is work- We work every day to communicate better, laugh more, let go more, and compromise more.  

Some of my favorite things about my husband:

1.  Jon is always positive.  He always laughs things off and turns things into a positive light.

2.  Jon knows that words are my love language and feeds me those words in a variety of ways every day.

3.  Jon is a really good listener and always gives feedback that reassures you he was listening.  Unless he is people watching or playing a video game.  Then you have to grab his face and say look at me!  ;)

4.  Jon never complains. 

5.  Jon plays with our kids and puts a focus and emphasis on 'family' which is important to both of us.  I love watching him spend his free time with our kids- playing teacher, wrestling, riding bikes, jumping on the trampoline.  

6.  Jon wakes up saying I love you and goes to bed saying I love you.  And when he says it, every time I know he genuinely means it. 

 

We are celebrating 2 years together on the 27th.  We plan on celebrating this weekend.  What crazy person gets married in July in Texas? This girl :)  

Our photographer told Jon to kiss my forehead and it was a hot, sweaty mess.  What else can you do but laugh ;)

Food!

Here are some recipes that I love and make often :) They are mainly from Pinterest :)  If I didn't have Pinterest I'd be hungry, naked, and have a dirty house. 

Root Beer Brisket Tacos

I love the mixandmatchmama recipes!

Jon and Ellie raved about these- Jack said 'yummy!'

*I use taco shells instead of tostada shells*

Bacon Chicken

So delicious- I make extra bacon and cook it a little before wrapping it around the chicken.  Great with fresh green beans and pine nuts and some mac n cheese!

French Bread Pizza

We add veggies on top- so simple and fun to make with the kids.

Sausage and Potatoes

This is great with corn on the cob!

Shrimp Alfredo

This is Ellie's favorite- she calls it 'French Alfredo' :) Super easy and quick!  

I buy a frozen bag of small cooked shrimp from Target, two jars of Alfredo sauce, fettuccine, and parmesan cheese.  I defrost the shrimp then cook it on Med. heat with some butter.  Then I throw in the alfredo sauce, some garlic salt and garlic powder, and parmesan cheese (handful).  Cook some fettuccine then pour the shrimp/alfredo on top and enjoy!

Beef Enchiladas

This is the recipe from the Old El Paso Enchilada sauce can- they are yummy and filling!  I use beef and add chopped green chilis to Jon's for flavor and some heat.  Great with chips and salsa or some Spanish Rice.