Strength

I had my first panic attack in 2009.  It was at the movie theater in Waco.  I couldn't move and felt as if I was having a heart attack.  I was trying to decide if I was going to apply for a job in McKinney.  It was happening quickly and I had an interview lined up.  (This is my current job now!)

I have had many panic attacks since then.

I have been on medicine, gone to therapy, and tried essential oils.  Currently, I am going the essential oils and hot baths route.... as well as seeing a counselor twice a month.

I haven't had one in months, but with a new school year coming up, and many changes in effect for our family, I am starting to feel anxious.

I bring this up because I have talked to many women lately, who struggle with anxiety.  The struggle is REAL.  I was surprised to learn how many of my friends and acquaintances have similar difficulties.

I have this on my mirror and read it every day:

As I'm nearing the start of another school year... and feeling anxious about the unknown... I seek first my ultimate Comforter and Healer.  They say 'God will never give you more than you can carry'... well God must think I am a superstar.... but, regardless ;) 

1.  I want to look at this year as a chance to LOVE on some children who may not have parents or their parents are incarcerated, and they are in desperate need of some love and structure in their life.  I cannot wait to pray with my teammate about these little ones coming into our rooms and our lives.

2.  I want to strive to use that strength and dignity when I face the future and the unknown.  A lot of women, including myself, live in constant fear.  I want to be bold and face those fears head on.  I want to live in confidence of who I am, and not depend on what someone says or doesn't say or does or doesn't do.  

3.  I want to take on each day, one at a time, without fear paralyzing me.  I will replace it with the HOPE that I will be able to do the same the next day.  If I am not able to, I will go easy on myself and try again the next day :)